And here’s some news from our newest novice – Nicholas Cassar

Hi, I am Nick, the new Maltese novice of the Society of Jesus. At the end of September I flew up to Genova to start my journey as a Jesuit with a two-year novitiate. I am 25 years old and the eldest of five boys, all of whom attended St Aloysius College, thanks in part to the insistence of my grandmother! My interests include reading, the natural sciences, trekking and snorkeling. I have also just recently been licensed to practice as a fully registered medical doctor.

I first got to know the Jesuits while attending SAC secondary school. As I matured and started asking questions about God and reality, faith became more and more important to me. I sought out the help of one of the Jesuits who gently led me to seek out the ‘marrow’ of my faith and who God is. I developed a prayer life, and a personal relationship with God started to slowly take shape. In Sixth Form, faith remained important to me and I joined a CLC. I would later go on to spend some time on the Young CLC Team at University. It was also in Sixth Form that I began to attend Mass almost daily, yet at that time I slackened on spiritual guidance and let it go.

After Sixth Form, I started medical school, hoping to one day be of service to others by becoming a cancer researcher. University was an interesting, stressful, exciting time and a time of serious personal growth. I studied hard and was ambitious: I did well in exams and was actively involved in student representation. My interest in cancer research grew, so I got involved in many related projects and opportunities aiming for a future career in that field.

In the meantime, I had left my faith ‘on the back burner’ – still there, but lacking direction. I felt like my conscience was urging me to something more, but it was as though I was waiting for something to happen. It did thankfully happen while I was doing the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius. I had been attending Mass at the University Chaplaincy during my preclinical years. One day, in my fourth year, Chaplaincy advertised the Spiritual Exercises in Daily Life. I had heard of them a few times before and was interested in doing them, although I did not really know what they were. I signed up: it changed everything.

The Exercises took me a little over a year to complete. During that time, I started to taste what a truly personal relationship with Jesus could be like. God had been pretty much ‘up there’; now He was in my face and tangible. It alarmed me at first, but I ended up experiencing His deep love for me and my longing for Him. If I had to sum up the Exercises, I would say they were for me an experience of growing in intimacy with Jesus. It was during these Spiritual Exercises that I felt and discerned a call to ask to join the Jesuits.

I must say that even though I did discern this calling, it cost me much struggle and doubt. Was I really being called? Was it just wishful thinking? Was I running away from something through such a vocation? Through prayer and the gentle growth of desires, as well as key moments of consolation, I became convinced that Jesus was and is inviting me to life as a Jesuit priest.

I see it as a life that is oriented wholly around Jesus, turns to Him in everything, seeks to always know Him, love Him, serve Him more. The laity is called to this too, of course. But the life of a Jesuit attracts me and feels more natural for me: I feel like I belong with the Society.

What attracts me most about the Society are the devotion to the person of Jesus and Ignatian spirituality as a whole: the call to be a fire that ignites others; to defend the poor and the marginalized; to learn to seek and find God in all things. These desires are all God’s grace, and feel so much more life-giving than the ambitions I had previously set my heart on.

I completed my studies, graduated and threw myself into full-time work: my first year in a hospital in the UK, and my second year in Malta. Despite all the sacrifices, I enjoyed studying and working in the medical field and am grateful to all those who taught me and made it possible, especially my parents.

These days I am often asked how come I seem to be ‘wasting’ all the years of study to become a doctor or whether the Jesuits will allow me to practice medicine. My simple and true reply is that I wish to live for what God wills for me (the Jesuits call this ‘holy or positive indifference’). Leaving all in His hands, I look forward to the journey ahead.

Ever thought of joining the Jesuits? Get in touch, we’ll be happy to meet you. Contact Patrick Magro SJ via vocations@jesuit.org.mt